


Just Rewards

by MillieWinchester84



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-16 12:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12342870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillieWinchester84/pseuds/MillieWinchester84
Summary: The war was unavoidable and blanketed all of earth.  It was between the angels and demons, but humans were caught smack in the middle.  Angels didn't care.  Demons used them.  The war between Heaven and Hell was even...the humans were paying the ultimate toll.  One forgotten angel had a plan.  He needs to rewards those now who gave their all for him...





	1. The History

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sassy_mass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_mass/gifts), [Delainer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delainer/gifts).



There was a war. A war that there was no way to avoid. It enveloped the earth. This war was between Heaven and Hell. Between angels and demons. Stuck right in the middle were humans. It is unclear which side made the first move. Heaven’s archangels Michael and Raphael claim it was Hell’s leader, the fallen archangel Lucifer. Lucifer, of course, claims the opposite. It doesn’t matter who started what. The war brought about nothing by death and destruction. Great losses on both sides, but by far humans were taking the greatest hit. The angels did not bring humans harm directly, but neither did they protect or help them. The angels all but ignored them for the most part. Lucifer saw an opportunity. He captured and enslaved them. Put them to work building his strongholds. Lucifer literally worked them to death. He attempted to use humans as a front line, ut the little hairless apes didn’t slow them down. His demons would take the bodies of the nearly dead humans as their earthly vessels making fighting on the plain of earth easier. His demons have one potential advantage over angels…they don’t need consent to possess them. An angel must have consent. That rule applies to Lucifer himself as well which was most inconvenient. The ruler of Hell finds it curious that God, his Father, cast him from Heaven for his refusal to love these weak, pathetic creatures more than he loved his Father, and ye He has abandoned them all.  His youngest brother Gabriel followed suit.  Poor young one was just not meant to be a fighter so Lucifer held no grudge their like his older brother Michael and younger brother Raphael clearly did.  Michael and Raphael stated to their Father that they loved the humans, but that was a clear lie.  The humans only began to interest Michael when a written rule was brought to his attention.  The end fight between him and Lucifer had to be fought on earth.  That wasn't the late breaking news, however.  They have to use two specific humans from a specific bloodline and the were not yet born.  They are to be brothers.  One touched by Heaven to be known as the Riotous Man.  The other claimed by Hell to be the Boy King.  It was a delay, not a problem...or so they thought.

Remember their baby brother Gabriel?  He's been watching quietly from the sidelines drawing no attention to himself.  He knew about the human bloodline long before his brothers.  He found them and was protecting them without notice.  Gabriel found a young, fledgling angel Michael had not yet sank his claws into and took the little angel under his golden wings teaching him how to be a deadly soldier.  Gabriel knew this angel was different.  He didn't blindly follow orders.  He was incredibly loyal though.  It intrigued Gabriel that the young one would question orders he did not understand the purpose of.  This angel was something special.  Angels are created/born like robots.  The very basic instinct of following orders is all they know.  He named this special little angel Castiel because he would be cast away for not being like the others under normal circumstances.  Gabriel realized this gift was from his Father and said in prayer _Thank you Father.  I know Castiel was sent by you to help me save your creations.  I will use this gift wisely and fight hard.  Not for Heaven or Hell, but I will fight for humanity._   Once Gabriel had Castiel trained he gave him his assignment.  Protect the future brothers' bloodline.  Don't allow Lucifer or Michael to get to them.  Stop the demons who would try to touch the younger brother as a baby.  Keep Michael from taking and sequestering the older.  Trusting Castiel, Gabriel set out to gain an army of angels to fight with and for the humans.  Gabriel did so by targeting the angels who were't made to be soldiers (there are different classes of angels for different purposes) who were disgruntled at Michael and Raphael's iron fists and forced to fight when they were not made for the task.  It was easy to pluck them from  the fringes.  Gabriel also created what became known as hunters- humans infused with small amounts of angel grace.  It made the humans less fragile.  There were stronger, faster, didn't get sick, harder to injure, quicker to heal, and they needed less food, water, and sleep to survive.  It passed through bloodlines.  Gabriel was also gaining more and more angels who liked his mission also giving him spies inside Michael's ranks.  He stayed under the radar keeping the element of surprise always on his side until he was good and ready to spring.

Four centuries  after being assigned the guardianship of the vessels' bloodline the older brother is born so Castiel takes a human vessel to watch over him.  There is a draw to this infant human he has never experienced before.  The young family are hunters so they live in a town protected by angels. It's easy for Castiel to blend in so he can keep them safe and yet unbeknownst to them.  Gabriel told him he was hiding in plain sight.  Everything was going well.  When his charge was four years old the second charge was born.  While Castiel was pulled to protect the younger at all costs, he wasn't drawn to him quite the same as he was the first.  It was confusing, but he ignored it.  There were much more important things to be concerned with.

Six months after the second brother was born the community is attacked by demons.  An astounding number of them.  Castiel knew that Lucifer had learned where his vessel was and was coming for him.  He left the battle to head straight for his charges.  Once there he found he had to make a difficult choice...save the brothers and allow the powerful demon to escape or save the mother and kill the demon, but lose one brother to being marked by the demon and possibly taken.  He chooses the former and to this day can not forget the woman burning alive in hellfire as he shields six month old Sam Winchester and four year old Dean Winchester.  He got them outside as their father ran up and told John to get them to safety.  Nothing could be done for Mary.  Little did Castiel know it would be a long time before he saw his charges again.  John went off the deep end with grief and the need for revenge.  Using powerful spells he hid himself and his boys from angels.  He was no longer a father.  John was a drill Sargent and the boys were soldiers.  Dean had to raise Sam.  There was neglect and abuse.  John tracked down the demon and Dean killed it.  Not long after that John was killed.  Castiel found them by chance and it was painfully clear they were damaged.

They were hard...cold even.  Watching from a distance Castiel saw they had a very close bond.  The level of co-dependency was concerning, but all they had growing up was each other.  Sam and Dean took case after case never stopping between.  The boys had no home.  They moved cheap lodging to cheap lodging.  On hunts they were a well oiled machine.  They communicated without a single word.  It was difficult, but Castiel wormed his way into their lives and was dubbed "Cas" by Dean.  It was a strained, awkward coexistence for quite a while, however, he took their walls down one slow brick at a time and they began to refer to him as part of their family.  Being told how they were raised, the brutal training their father put them through, how he would leave them alone for days and weeks at a time, how John would beat them up when he was drunk for the tiniest transgression which Dean took the brunt of as he always protects Sam crushed Castiel's heart.  Dean always defended their father and his actions.  Sam was just angry.  Castiel never left their side hunting with them.

Michael and Lucifer found the Winchester brothers and put them through hell to force them to say yes and fulfill their destinies, but they couldn't break them.  In fact, Sam and Dean closed and locked the gates of Hell and ended the war altogether.  Both Michael and Lucifer were locked in a cage together in the deepest pits of Hell.  Who would have figured that out of all the powerful beings fighting that it would be two humans and an outcast angel that would win?  It came at a price, however.

Dean Winchester was killed.  He jumped between and angel and his brother, who's back was turned as he performed the ritual sealing Hell's gates taking the angel blade through his chest.  Castiel fought to get to him to heal him, bit it was too late.  Dean was gone.  If he had just a single breath or heartbeat left Castiel could have saved him.  Angels do not have the ability to resurrect.  Castiel crouched next to Sam who held his older brother in his arms crying and reached out.  His grace knitted the hole back together and cleaned the blood away, but could not put life into the body.  Already his soul had been released.  Sam was shattered and understandably angry.  Gabriel arrived and stayed with Sam and Dean's body.  He told Castiel to go personally escort Dean's soul which they could see fluttering around confused above them.  It's brightness almost blinding to them.

Doing as he was told quietly he noticed other angels gather who had been fighting nearby all with their heads lowered.  A few humans joined openly crying at the sight of their fallen warrior.  Hurting he flew up, cradled Dean's distinctively bright soul gently, and took him to the space created just for him in Heaven.  Unsurprisingly Dean's Heaven is a long road under a twilight sky and he is behind the wheel of the car which serves as his and Dean's home more often than not.  Castiel sat in the passenger seat waiting for the hunter to begin the conversation.  Castiel explained what was happening and answered Dean's questions.  One statement caught Castiel's attention.

"I'm not one for retirement Cas.  If you figure out a way to get me back down there, you do it.  Keep and eye on Sammy.  I'm afraid he's going to self destruct.  I know I would if the situation were reversed."

Dean was right.  He can't retire.  He was depressed, miserable, and bored out of his mind.  Castiel went to Gabriel to discuss an idea he had. It was unprecedented, but Dean wasn't like anyone else so it fit.  Dean is the first soul to be given free reign in Heaven and the reason being is his help in the civil war among angels once the apocalypse was stopped before it started.  Gabriel made Dean part of his tight inner circle so he would have all the available information and help them figure out the best plan of action and Dean did not disappoint.  He is brilliant.  Having something to do helped a lot.  Gabriel noticed the way Castiel behaved around Dean and it clicked what it was.  He met with them alone.  Gabriel explained to them that they are mates and if Dean could have had a heart attack, he would have.  Castiel understood why.  Dean's father had a serious problem with homosexuality.  He explained that angels do not have a gender.  They are not physical beings at all.  They are energy in it's purest sense.  They are power.  Their true forms are humongous and do not appear male or female.  It would in no way make Dean "gay" to be an angel's mate and he would never force him into a relationship more than they currently have.  Because Dean is no longer living it isn't possible to truly mate.  It's a lot for the hunter to take in, but of course he had questions.  Gabriel is the one to explain mats.  Angels do not have infinite numbers.  In reality there aren't that many and the wars have culled the numbers down dangerously.  Some were directly created by God.  On occasion a few just are suddenly.  However, God enabled angels to mate to create more.  Mates, real mates and not simply compatible angels, are rare, but it happens.  Even more rare is an angel and human mating pair.  That is what has happened with them and Gabriel figures that is why Castiel (the last known angel to be brought to existence by their Father himself) was different.  He had to be.  It is possible for a human and an angel to have an angel child, but not in this situation.  Castiel explains the last method is taking a willing human being under an angel's care where grace is fed to that human slowly and the angel(s) raise them as a fledgling.  They regress to a young child or in some cases to an infant.  They get a start over.  Dean finds it odd of course, but Gabriel explains that it's healthy, especially for a human who was abused or had a hard childhood.  In the end, often a couple of normal human lifespans, the human is a strong, well adjusted a gel.  Castiel further explains that is is said every angel has a human to nurture.  More often than not they never meet, but if they do, they know.  It takes time, but Dean's fears ebb away.  He knew Sam wasn't doing well at all.  Castiel regularly checked and did what he could as did Gabriel, but Sam was sinking further and further.  Dean actively sought comfort from Castiel.  He allowed Castiel to put arms around him in front of others leaning into the embrace.  They held hands often.  No one around them drew attention to the growing affection between the two  There were always by each other's sides.

Sam never got better after holding his brother in his arms watching him die.  He shut down.  Gabriel was finally able to get him to let go and Dean was carefully lifted.  The angels were gentle and efficient.  Sam refused to burn his brother's body insisting there was some way to bring him back.  The traditional send off for a hunter is a funeral pyre.  It's specifically known as a "hunter's funeral" and guarantees that a demon can't take the body or that they won't be a vengeful spirit stuck on earth for whatever reason.  Appeasing Sam they prepare a grave for Dean.  They prepare a casket and take very good care of Dean's body as though he can still feel everything they do, although his soul in Heaven is completely unaware of the body it left.  Sam chose the place.  They had spent significant time there growing up.  A beautiful centuries old oak tree stands alone in a remote clearing in thick woods.  Now it stands sentinel over the fallen soldier.  Sam insisted on nothing elaborate.  A simple marble headstone with his brother's name.  Not even the dates of birth and death to be inscribed.  Gabriel did have a thick marble slab laid across the top as added protection.  Sam built himself a cabin just inside the thick woods surrounding Dean's grave.  He hunted as he had the need.  Sam was shut down though.  He never showed emotion.  He barely ate and drank too much alcohol.  He rejected any company.  Gabriel visited when Sam was passed out using his grace to clear Sam of illness and alcohol poisoning more times than he has kept track of.  He can supply nutrients using his grace, but Sam was losing weight at an alarming rate.  No matter what Gabriel and Castiel do to help him with their grace, Sam will die.  As powerful as angel grace is, a human cannot survive on it alone for eternity or even a normal lifespan.  Years it can support them at best.  Sam is nearing that threshold which became glaringly obvious when Castiel had a difficult time healing wounds from the last hunt he took care of and it left scars.  He had to explain to his mate that his brother's body is no longer accepting grace.  Dean became highly distraught worrying Castiel so he took him to his favorite corner of Heaven before Dean had come along and then his favorite place was wherever Dean was at the time...a slightly snowy spring day with the colors of flowers blooming...and has done all he can to provide comfort.


	2. Making Things Right

Gabriel silently watches them now. Castiel hasn’t left Deans side and Dean hasn’t had much to say during the inner circle meetings. He’s always distracted, not that he would ever point it out or voice it out loud, clinging to Castiel who allowed it. It hasn’t mattered that neither have been holding their end up because the civil war has been squashed. The final step is simply finding Raphael who has not left hiding so he can be brought home and “fixed” as Gabriel has made it perfectly clear he has no intention of harming or killing his brother despite the atrocities. There has been too much of that already Dean can’t focus and it’s distracting Castiel.

This is one of Dean’s better moments easing nerves Gabriel hadn’t noticed he had. They’re sitting under the big tree talking. He tunes them out not wanting to intrude anymore than he already is. He has to suppress his snort when Dean picks up a handful of snow from the place he had been idly playing with, reaches up and back as he is sitting with his back to Castiel’s chest, depositing it right on top of the angel’s head tilting his own head back to look up at him with a decidedly mischievous grin. Castiel cuts his blue eyes down to Dean also smiling. Castiel shakes his head ironically looking like a puppy so Dean scrunches up as snow rains down on him. From there it’s on as Castiel gets a handful of snow himself and Dean springs up and is ducking for cover.

Satisfied Dean is alright, at least for the moment, Gabriel leaves them to their fun deciding he needs to check up on Sam. It’s not hard to find him. Today is his brother’s birthday. Dean would have been 34 today on earth. It’s cold and raining. Sam is wearing nothing but a thin shirt and jeans. He’s lying on top of the marble slab curled into the fetal position. There is an empty whiskey (Dean’s drink of choice) bottle tipped over next to him. Gabriel bets it was full whatever time Sam got here. Gabriel is concerned because passed out or not he should be shivering in this cold, but he isn’t. Sam is lying motionless and Gabriel fears he is too late. Gut clenched he kneels next to Sam feeling for a pulse. He finds it, but it’s barely there and is becoming irregular. Sam wouldn’t live much longer without him here. Maybe only moments left. Quickly he assesses what has the hunter in this state. Alcohol poisoning higher than he has every seen in anything still breathing, dehydration, acute hypothermia all coupled with no food in more than three days. He fixes all that with a struggle that concerns him with Sam’s body trying to reject the grace and then induces a deep sleep. If Sam were to arouse he would be angry Gabriel is here instead of leaving him be and honestly Gabriel doesn’t want to have to deal with that and upset Sam at the same time right now. Knocking the kid out was the better option until he figured this out.

“What were you thinking kiddo?” He probes into Sam’s head and he’s horrified. Gabriel draws back looking at what has become a fragile figure with a broken heart. “I’m going to fix this Samsquatch. I should have long before now. You deserve so much better than this.” He brushes some of the sodden hair from the sunken face. “Let’s get you taken care of first, hmm?”

Carefully Gabriel lifts Sam aware, painfully aware, of how fragile this human is right now. Holding him close he flies them to Sam’s cabin. He uses a little of his grace to ensure Sam is dry and puts him down in the bed tucking him in under a huge pile of blankets. At a snap of his fingers a fire lights in the fireplace. For a little while he stands over Sam, watching him. What Gabriel saw in Sam’s head will haunt him for eternity.

There is the flutter of wings, but he doesn’t turn around.

“Go do what needs to be done brother. I’ll watch over him.”

It’s a soft voice fully of sympathy.

“Thank you Samandriel.”

Gabriel is gone. The young, thin framed angel takes a seat by the fire and begins his vigil to ensure Sam Winchester’s safety.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Castiel and Dean are rolling around in the snow when Gabriel lands. Castiel looks up and Dean has to tilt his head back to look as Castiel is on top of him and he’s flat out on his back when he does nothing to conceal his presence. The smile on Dean’s face melts away when his eyes meet the archangel’s.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. Castiel gets up and helps Dean to his feet and then they sit on the bench they were in front of.

“I’m just coming back from checking on Sam. I almost didn’t get there in time to save his life this time. He is still in a dangerous state. Samandriel is with him. I can’t do anything about how bad he is now. He’s dying and I can’t stop it.”

The words hit Dean hard despite knowing it was coming. He wantes his brother to live, to fall in love, to give him nieces and nephews, and to die an old man Dean can then pick on when his happy soul comes to Heaven because Dean will forever look like he’s only thirty. “Maybe it’s for the best.” Dean’s voice comes out small and choked. “He doesn’t have a life like this. Up here he can find purpose and work with me again.”

Castiel’s eyes shoot from Dean and meet Gabriel’s whiskey brown eyes. It clues Dean in that something is wrong. “What?” He asks. “What aren’t you telling me?” He tries not to panic.

Gabriel nods at Castiel. He showed him what he saw in Sam’s head. It’s best if he explains things to Dean to begin with.

“He’s broken Dean. Coming to Heaven can’t fix a broken mind. If that were true everyone with a mental disorder would no longer have it here, but you have seen the autistic man that created this eternal spring day. He still has autism.” Castiel begins. “He tried to kill himself today.” Dean’s breath catches and tears well up. “He would end up in Purgatory for that since the gates to Hell are closed.” The tears spring and flow freely. Castiel rubs circles into his back trying to help calm him.

“It’s hard, but hang in there and listen.” Gabriel says gently.

“Gabriel and I could get him out of Purgatory if it came to that. You’ve seen that place. It would only add to his problems and as we have said, that can’t be fixed here. A soul stays in Heaven the way it came. You still have the same issues with yourself in you mind that you’ve always had despite everything we’ve done to try and help that. Sam…he is just replaying watching you die over and over…trying to figure out how to stop it even though it’s already occurred. He KNOWS it has already occurred and he keeps trying to change it. I believe that is the official definition of crazy. He won’t stop trying to bring you back even though he KNOWS he can’t through any means at his disposal.”

Tears stream down Dean’s face. “Why are you telling me this if there is no way to fix it, Cas? I get he’s messed up. I knew he would be.”

“No one said there was NO way to fix him. Simply that it can’t be done here and Sam can’t do it for himself.”

Dean looks absolutely confused and exasperated.

“Sam needs to be given a second chance.” Cas explains. “He is no longer capable of caring for himself. He can’t function. He can’t make rational decisions when he can make one at all. He can’t feed himself. He can’t bathe himself. He can’t take care of basic hygiene…”

Dean wipes his face to clear the tears away because at this point the can’t see. “You’re talking about that regression thing angels can do with humans to make new angels. You’re going to make Sam into a baby angel and raise him again with all good experiences and it will fix his broken mind.”

“Astute young grasshopper.” Gabriel says in a bad Asian accent. Castiel glares at him and he snaps back into a serious tone and normal voice. “Cassie and I won’t be doing the regression. He won’t respond to either of us.”

“Then who will he respond to?”

“You.” Dean starts and turns wide eyes to Castiel. “You raised him once. You can do it again.”

“Yeah, but guys…I’m dead.”

Castiel winces at the harsh term. It always evokes that image of Dean lying dead, blood pooling underneath him and onto Sam’s lap. His beautiful green eyes were so dull.

“Turns out there is a way to change that, but it comes with a catch.” Green eyes are trained on him so Gabriel continues. “You can’t go back as you were. You can’t go back human. You can only go back as an angel.”

“Okay. It takes a really long time to make an angel. Sammy doesn’t have long, right?”

“There is a fast track I finally uncovered in Heaven’s archives. It was in the weirdest spot. One of the last places I would think to look.”

“How long have you been trying to figure out how to get me back?”

“From the night I felt you die. You didn’t know this, but all of Heaven mourned. All of Heaven felt your death and Sam’s pain.”

“There are risks…” Castiel begins before Dean can make a comment about his death’s impact on Heaven itself.

“There always are. That’s nothing new.” Dean says almost matter-of-factly.

Gabriel nods. “Still you should know what they are. I am going to have to infuse you with a large portion of my grace. I mean directly into your soul. You remember how it felt when Cas had to use your soul to power himself up that one time?” Dean nods. “This will be about a trillion times more painful and I’m not going to lie…it’s going to feel like it lasts forever.” Dean would be lying if he said that thought doesn’t make his stomach drop. “It will be far from pleasant for me as well, but I don’t mind. I owe this to you and your brother. Ah ah ah. Don’t.” Dean’s mouth snaps shut audibly from where he had opened it to protest. “Angels are born with some instincts. Most notably, unless you are Castiel or an archangel, is the instinct to obey without thought when told to do something. Robotic. They are then taught as they reach the milestones and new instincts develop and wings become strong enough that it’s time to learn how to fly. They are taught how to control their grace and their senses. You are going to be assaulted with the instincts of a fully mature angel all at once as well as all of the heightened senses. It’s going to be a lot to process and no time to do it in. Then there is the mating thing. Castiel will have to make an honest angel out of you, but the problem you’ll have I’m afraid is the fact that, well, you can conceive and carry a baby angel. Cas can too, but he’s the dominant angel and he won’t be the one who has to take it up…”

“Enough!” Castiel snaps. “I’ll explain the intimate needs with my mate in private myself.”

“Honestly, Cas, that doesn’t freak me out. I don’t know why. It seems…minor I guess compared to everything else.”

Castiel pulls him close. “You’re right. The biggest deal is the chance I could lose you.”

That gets Dean’s undivided attention. “Huh?”

“What Gabriel needs to do has to be done with precision…perfection. He will be in an enormous amount of pain as he literally rips about eighty percent of his grace out of his own chest and infuses it into you. A human soul is like a nuclear reactor. It can take out an entire major city. What do you think that much pure, unharnessed, archangel grace would do? One false move and you, Gabriel, and a portion of Heaven itself will vaporize.

“I wish I could say he is being dramatic, but he isn’t.” Gabriel says.

“I kinda figured. Exaggeration is not a concept he understands.” Dean turns to look at Castiel, straight in the eye. “When we do this Cas you need to be far enough away that you aren’t vaporized to if it goes wrong.”

“No. It won’t matter.”

“What do you mean ‘it won’t matter’?”

“We are mates. I have already bonded to you. The bond cannot be undone. Once you cease to exist so will I. I prefer to die quickly over lingering and fading away or having an angel of mercy end me. If you die today, so do I.”

Dean runs his hands down his face. This just got a whole lot more complicated. He blows out a breath. “Okay. Is there anything else I should know now?”

“Just one. This has never been done before.” Gabriel tells him. “I don’t believe Dad would have had the instructions meticulously written by his personal scribe if it was never meant to be done. I believe strongly that He had it written and put it in the part of the archives where only I ever look and I was meant to find it now just for this purpose.” He finishes.

“Can any angel do this or just an archangel? I’m just curious.”

He has to ponder that question. “An old enough angel could probably pull it off, but it would be risky.”

“No one would shame you for not going through with this Dean. Least of all Gabriel or me.”

“I know, but I can’t not try to save Sammy. If there is the tiniest chance this will work I’m doing it. I have to.”

Gabriel nods. Castiel kisses the top of his head.

“I know you do. I’ll be by your side. There isn’t much I can do…”

Nodding, Gabriel rubs his hands together and shakes out his arms like he’s warming up for some sport.

“What do I need to do?”

“Sit back, relax as much as possible. Don’t fight it.” Gabriel puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder as Castiel stands up and moves behind the bench close, but not touching Dean. Gabriel leans over Dean a little. His hand on his shoulder squeezes lightly. “I’ve got this. Cas has got you. Trust me. Relax.” Dean takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment easing his nerves down. When he reopens them some of that rising panic is gone. “Good. Very good.” Gabriel materializes his archangel blade which glints in the light.

Dean’s eyes go wide at the sight. He does not like those blades. It’s not like he has forgotten the searing pain of one being rammed through his heart.

Gabriel moves his hand from Dean’s shoulder to the wooden bench. His shirt just mojos away. That’s all that happens for a moment.

“Gabriel, do you need my assistance?”

He understands what Castiel is asking and appreciates it. The warrior angel must feel so helpless and that is not something he is accustomed to. “No brother. Not this time. I have to do this part on my own. You just be ready to catch him when he comes back up.”

Dean watches as Gabriel grits his teeth and runs the blade across his own chest creating a long, deep gouge shining almost too bright for Dean to look at. Panting Gabriel drops the blade to the snowy ground. He reaches his own hand in through the wound and grabs the core of his own grace. He’s not quite able to hold in a shout of pain as he begins tugging it out. It gets brighter and brighter and it’s searing Dean’s eyes. He’s going to be a blind angel if he survives this.

“Close your eyes Dean.” Cas momentarily places his hand over Dean’s eyes, but backs away again once Dean has complied and Gabriel is bringing the writhing mass closer to Dean’s chest.

The next thing Dean knows is pain. Pure pain like he has never felt before. It steals his breath immediately. The fire grows and grows and grows some more. Every cell, every atom of his body is ablaze. It has to be. Just when Dean thinks it can’t get any worse the pain ratchets up tenfold and he knows he is going to explode and take half of Heaven with him…everything stops. The pain is gone. The roar he hadn’t realized he was hearing is gone. All light is gone. The fire is gone. This must be what it is like to just not exist. Floating in an abyss. It’s odd he has any conscious thought. It should freak him out that this is all he will ever know again, but it doesn’t. It’s calm and oddly peaceful. Yeah…he could get used to this. Dean lets himself float.

Unsure and uncaring of how long it’s been a voice, distant and muffled, begins to break the dead silence. Honestly it’s annoying. He is perfectly content where he is…wait…that’s Cas! He can’t understand what Cas is saying, but the tone is both calming and desperate. An odd mix. It takes a gargantuan effort to pull himself toward that voice, but he knows he needs to. Dean isn’t sure why he needs to other than he can’t let Cas be as scared as he’s beginning to sound. Seems like there is something very important he needs to do…SAMMY! All at once Dean is flying up to surface out of the abyss. He tries to jolt to a sitting position…when did he lay down?…but a firm hand on his chest holds him down. He opens his eyes and then slams them shut again because the light is too bright and sends a stabbing pain straight to his brain.

“Easy Dean.” Castiel’s voice booms and…whoa. The light he can still see through his eyelids dims considerably. “Open your eyes slowly. I’m shielding the light. Take it easy. I know everything is overwhelming.” Castiel tells him and although he knows he is speaking softly, it is so loud to him.

Carefully Dean begins to crack his eyes open. He trusts Cas with every fiber of his being, but he’s cautious of that knife-like pain he got the first time jabbing into his brain. Cas’ face comes into view. He’s kneeling over Dean.

“There are those beautiful green eyes.” Cas smiles.

Dean would respond, but his brain power is dedicated to what he’s looking at and processing it. That’s definitely Castiel’s familiar vessel he’s looking at, but…he’s different. There is an ethereal glow. His eyes seem to be electric blue. His skin perfect, his hair shiny. In his chest Dean can see a pure light, but it moves and undulates in a way that he somehow knows is only Cas. That’s when he wonders how exactly Cas is blocking so much of the light. One of his angel’s hands is still on his chest to remind him to relax and the other carding fingers through his hair. Dean tears his eyes away from Cas’ body and looks up. There is a lack mass. At first he doesn’t have a clue what he’s seeing. Then it clicks. It’s wings. He can see Castiel’s wings. Dean always assumed that angel wings are big, but now he realizes the are massive or at least his angel’s are. Tentively he reaches up, but his body still feels difficult to control so his arm and hand shook a little. The mass he was reaching for shifts forward. Cas moved his wing so Dean didn’t have to reach far. The wings are so soft it is like not touching anything. There is a deep rumble. The only thing he can think to compare it to is a purr and his eyes snap to Castiel’s who has a pleased expression on his face.

“They’re…you are magnificent.” His voice is a little scratchy. He must have been screaming, but didn’t realize it.

The feathers under his hand poof up as Castiel preens at Dean’s praise. Dean chuckles catching Cas’ attention and e grins back. “Those are my under feathers. They are meant specifically for my mate. You can be wrapped in them safely. My outer feathers can stiffen into an armor and the ends so sharp they cut as efficiently as my angel blade to use in battle.” Castiel explains. “It is a pleasant sensation for you to touch and later you can learn to groom them if you wish as I will groom and help you care for yours when they come in.” Dean is fascinated and doesn’t notice Castiel watching him closely. “How are you feeling?”

“Huh? Oh…I haven’t paid attention…Um… Tired. Not sleepy tired, but tired like I put a whole day of training in. And I’m alert. I feel like I’ve had a lot of caffeine.”

“You’re okay though?”

“I’m not about to freak out or explode so I’d say I’m good.”

Castiel lets out the breath he had been holding. “You’re handling this better than expected. Of cours you are Dean Winchester and you always rise above any expectation so why it even surprises me anymore, I don’t know. I was concerned you would feel overwhelmed mentally and physically with heightened senses and angel characteristics assaulting you.”

“I feel a buzz. I can’t think of how else to describe it. In my body somewhat, but it’s stronger in my head.”

Castiel nods. “That’s the host. You refer to it as ‘angel radio’ and with time you’ll learn to turn it up and down, on and off. Your senses are okay? My voice doesn’t seem too loud? I know the light is too much…”

“Now that I’m…awake I’m fine. I can control that. I’ve had experience with hyper senses before.”

“When? I don’t remember this.”

“It was when we were hidden from you.” Dean begins. “Dad had us on a vampire nest. He used me as bait and I got turned. Dad used me like GPS to find the main nest.” He can feel Castiel getting angry inside himself. “I had to deal with hyper senses and fight the need to feed. Dad cured me, but I never trusted him again and Sammy hated him even more. There were a lot of problems from then on out till Dad was killed.”

“I would imagine so.” Cas’s voice sounds tight.

Dean’s voice turns sad. “I think he had planned on killing me. He didn’t know there was a cure. Sam was the one who found it. If it hadn’t worked my own father who set me up in the first place to be turned into a monster would have taken my head. Sammy and I left the next night when he went to the bar and were on our own hunting until you found us. Dad was looking for us. We got word through the hunter grapevine and stayed one step ahead, barely. It was a relief to find out he was dead. That sounds horrible to say, but we were constantly on the run. That messes with your mind. We closed ourselves off emotionally. We were nothing more than killing machines. We treated you and the other angels that were trying to help badly. Trust is still not easy.”

Castiel cards his fingers through his hair once again feeling his heart break. “I understand Dean. Don’t blame yourself. It was simply how you and your brother survived. I certainly do not blame you nor do I hold a grudge.”

“I know. I’m mad at myself.”

“This will not only be a healing experience for Sam but for you as well. I will show you both how much you are worth. How much you are loved. How deserving of a good, happy life you both are. That was the biggest part of Gabriel’s plan he shared with me.”

At that Dean nods. There seems no point in arguing because he has the distinct feeling he won’t win this one. His green eyes widen and he sits up knocking Castiel over. His wings flared to stabilize him, but he ends up on his butt anyway as he hears Dean say “Gabriel!” and then look at Cas in surprise. He then droops. Not in sadness, but in submission without realizing it. “Did I…?”

Castiel chuckles at Dean’s confused expression. He is used to Cas as an immovable objet with incredible strength in comparison to him and just by sitting up unexpectedly he has knocked the angel over. “Yes Dean.” He says with a glimmer in his blue eyes. “You are much stronger now. You will match my strength.”

“My bad.”

There is a snicker to his left and he looks over. There is Gabriel leaning heavily back against the tree where he and Cas had been earlier. The angel looks exhausted and like he is in pain. These are things he does not associate with angels, but especially with archangels. His arms hang down heavily beside him and his legs are splayed out in front of him. Most disturbing of all is the red blood leaking from the self-inflicted gash to his chest and no sign of grace trying to heal it. Castiel reaches over and touches Gabriel’s shin healing the wound, but it doesn’t help with the fact that Gabriel is pale, eyes half open, and wiped out. Dean’s distress begins to radiate from him creating a strong scent. He whines, but it’s a sound he has never made before. Human vocal cords are unable to make such a sound. Immediately he is surrounded by a huge black wing that cuts him off from the world around him. He is pulled forward with strong arms and Castiel presses his face to a spot just behind and down from his ear. The smooth skin on his feels nice, but there is this amazing smell there. Dean can’t think of a way to describe it. All he knows is that he likes it. He feels himself relaxing and his distress dissipating. At the moment he doesn’t care why. Instead he wraps one arm tightly against his angel clutching the back of his ever present trench coat with that hand and gently grasping the soft feathers he loves so much already in the other and breathes in deeply. He feels the rumble of Cas’ purr in the angel’s chest, but doesn’t hear it much. Closing his eyes Dean allows himself to melt into Castiel.

Dean is brought back from his pleasant haze by an unexpected female voice. If Cas hadn’t had firm pressure on the back of his head he would have jumped. “Is he alright Castiel?”

“Yes Hannah. He is fine. Just upset by Gabriel’s state.”

“Understandable.”

“Yes. Definitely.”

“Dean.” He hears Hannah say gently. Cas has cracked the wing open making him barely visible to the other angel. He opens his eyes He knows Hannah. She is in Gabriel’s inner circle and is Castiel’s right hand. Castiel removes his hand that was cupping the back of Dean’s skull so that he can raise his head if he wishes. Castiel is still much stronger than he is. It throws Dean off when he picks his head up and turns it toward where her voice came from to look at her. Dean is accustomed to her being a steel presence all business all the time. Now she looks at him with big, concerned, gentle brown eyes. “I’m going to take care of him. Nothing will happen to him and his grace will regenerate all on it’s own. Do you trust me?”

Dean nods. He isn’t sure where his words are, but they aren’t there.

“Oh great.” Gabriel sounds sarcastic. “I specifically asked for Paul.”

Hannah looks over her shoulder. “He’s busy. Some information on Raphael’s possible location came in. He’s dealing with that so you have me.”

“I repeat…’oh great.’”

Hannah turns her attention back to Dean. “I understand this is all so much for you. Castiel will take care of you. We all will…with Castiel’s permission of course.”

“You need his permission?” Dean asks curious.

“Yes.” Hannah tells him gently. Angels are divided into classifications. Dominant and submissive. Castiel is one of the strongest dominants of all the angels. In order to interact and especially touch you we must all have his explicit permission. We must also have your permission. You never interact with the submissive mate without first speaking to their dominant. There are exceptions to that as in something is wrong and you’re healing the angel.”

Dean picks his head up from where he had rested it on Cas’ shoulder. “That makes me the submissive I’m guessing.”

“Technically yes Dean, but I will not keep you from doing as you please. You will see other’s with a relationship where the dominant makes all of the decisions and the submissive must always have their dominant’s permission to do something. It works for them. It makes the dominant feel as though they are caring for their mate and makes the submissive feel safe and protected. You are not the average person Dean. I am not the average angel. Our relationship is going to be different from most others you will see. I will try and restrain my instinct to protect as I know it’s not your thi…”

“Cas. It’s okay. I’m tired of the constant fighting and battles and violence. I don’t want to hunt. I never wanted to hunt. I mean I’m damn good at it, but it was dad who put it in my head that it’s what I wanted. I didn’t Cas. I swear I didn’t. I wanted to take Sammy away from that and raise him right. I tried to leave. More than once when dad had run Sam so hard in training that he threw up and passed out. Every time he found us and whipped Sammy with a belt until he was a bloody mess right in front of me tied to a chair. Then he would beat me. He beat me so bad I would be unconscious for days with Sam taking care of me. I gave up Cas. Not for myself. For Sam. We allowed ourselves to be brainwashed because it was easier. I did the best I could to raise my brother to be a good man and I’m so damn proud of him, but hunting fucked us both up. I am done with it. Sammy is done with it. I’m raising him right this time. Now if you need me to hunt I will. I just don’t want to.”

“You did it right the first time you raised him Dean…especially under the horrific circumstances.” Gabriel says catching Dean’s attention. He had forgotten the archangel was there in the last couple minutes focused on Cas and seeing the images in his mind that will never go away. Hannah has gotten him to his feet supporting his weight. “You don’t want to hear this or believe it, but you will in time. You are not to blame Dean Winchester. You did nothing wrong.”

The statement earns a scoff, but Dean leaves it at that. “This time his life is going to be stable. No moving all the time. One school system. College. Do y’all know what Sammy wanted to go to college for?” He gets a ‘no’ in unison. “Lawyer. The world was undergoing the apocalypse and my little brother wanted to be a lawyer. The kid can argue so he’d make a great one, but who was he going to have as clients, you know? With the wars over and humanity rebuilding it’s a more practical occupation now, so if that is what he still wants then we’ll make it happen. Cas and I. Together.”

“Together.” Castiel smiles.

“If you decide you need something to do outside for work again Dean let me know. I have a buddy who owns a mechanic’s shop and I know you are into that kind of thing.”

“Thanks man.”

“I’m going to get him to the safe house. You need me, you call. Either of you.”

“Thank you Hannah. For everything.” Castiel says.

She smiles. Huge, gray wings sprout.

“Whoa.” Dean says.

Gabriel smirks. “Wait until you can see mine. Archangels have six wings and mine are gold.” He winks and then with one mighty pulse of wings they are gone.

Castiel shakes his head. “Lets go get you somewhere where you can rest.”

“I want to go get Sammy.”

“Dean, you need to rest…”

“Please Cas. I need to see him. He’s suffered too much already. I’ll let you do all the heavy work and whatever, but I need to be with him.”

Sam is not the only one with powerful puppy dog eyes. One can’t say ‘no’ to that look. “Okay. Deal is once we get him settled you must rest. It’s the only way your body can recuperate and fully accept the grace.”

“I understand.”

“Okay. Let me help you up.”


End file.
